Modern Art

"It ain't Art , it's a f***ing puddle!"

Dear Sir,
I am an Artist, a serious Artist, in the tradition of Leonardo, Michelangelo, Rembrandt and Rubens. Though British, I started travelling 35 years ago and am now living in South India - still travelling.

Recently, I was contacted by the BBC, who asked if I might enter discussions with them on appearing on a programme "Living with the Enemy" in which I could state loudly and clearly where I stood on modern art (which I don't take seriously at all, as you might imagine from my introduction to this letter).I was about to travel to New York, so I broke my journey in London and spent a few hours with some very nice people at the BBC (actually, I took them to The National Gallery to show them the Art I really do love, whose disciplines and integrity I work with myself). I introduced them to great Art, and they were suitabley impressed. Seeing it again (I'd been in the 'wilderness' for a long time) impressed ME so much I actually decided to decline from appearing on T.V. to discuss an 'art' that I don't believe even MERITS discussion - why should I add to its credibility by discussing it? So I said thanks but no thanks and the BBC kindly provided me with transport to Heathrow. I am fairly eccentric looking, which caused my taxi driver to enquire of me my origins, profession, reasons for my visit etc. After I'd given him the basic answers to his questions, here's what this delightful, ingenious (British) human being had to say in his very broad Cockney accent:

"Well, I don't know nuffink about art , do I? I'm just yer average Joe Public. But I do think this modern thing is a load of bull***t. I mean, did you 'ear of that thing a few weeks ago? This guy comes along and pulls up a paving stone. 'E lets some water trickle into the 'ole, you know like rainwater or something, and 'e called it ART 'cos it was outside an Art Gallery I think. But I mean, I ask ya - Art? That ain't Art it's a f***ing puddle! Cor Blimey, I've got a kid what does better 'n that already. And 'ave you 'eard of that bloke Damien Hirst? I mean what a pile of crap! 'E cuts the 'ead off a f***ing sheep an' sticks it in a bucket and calls it Art. Cor what bulls**t! And if the BBC asked me I'd tell'em - it ain't Art, it's a poor dead f***ing lamb and it's bulls**t!"

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Anthony Christian

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